Book shopping is my new favorite pastime now, but I’ve steadily wandered into the territory of solely collecting books in the hopes I’ll read them, yet they sit on my bookshelf or disheveled desk collecting dust.
Buying endless books has become sort of like an artificial boost of joy for me—especially after lowering my social media consumption, I think it replaced the cheap dopamine I got from social media.
It’s also as if I’m becoming the very thing I dislike, one of those TikTok content creators who overconsume books just to create an aesthetic. Buying them to appear as though I read them, playing into an audience’s perception of who I falsely pretend to be.
And it’s not that I can’t finish the books; the worst part is that I feel like I’m doing a disservice somehow to the authors. Because a book isn’t just a collection of beautifully strung-together, cohesive words painting an orchestra of imagery in your mind. It’s also the canvas that the author poured aching hours, their energy, time, and spirit onto.
And should all of that effort just collect dust?
Sure, the author gets paid when we buy the book. And I’m sure they’re happiest when they can pay their compounding bills in this soulless system that constantly has us churning like a vapid hamster wheel.
But I would bet an author gets more thrill from knowing someone read their book over and over again, and that their words actually shifted someone’s worldview or opened up entire universes of imagination in their mind. Because at the end of the day it is their art.
Each book represents money I spent, true, but it also represents an untouched goal, a small commitment I broke with myself. When I leave a book unread, and multiple for that matter, it exposes my lack of focus in a way words can barely string together.
And I know more than anyone else that I have a focus problem; I say this as I grab for my phone for the 15th hundred time. But without further ado, here is the list of books I bought and then never finished. Although writing this article will hopefully prompt me to finish them. You tell me if you’ve read them or not.
The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
“The circus arrives without warning. No announcements precede it. It is simply there, when yesterday it was not. “
I remember spotting this book at a local, hidden coffee shop near my neighborhood. I live in Istanbul, Turkiye, by the way, so it’s not common that you’ll find English books lying around for sale in local shops. I thought, let this be the first book I read on my focus-healing journey.
Unfortunately, no. The book collected dust, not my fingers on its pages. And now, I don’t even know where the circus has gone - shameless play of words from the title.
Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchit
“At the end of the day, whether one returns to the past or travels to the future, the present doesn’t change.”
This is another book I picked up on my walk home. It also collected dust and got lost. Where it went? I have no clue. I think it fell somewhere in the crevices of my bookshelf.
But I guess now I’ll never know before the coffee gets cold.
Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro
”There was something very special, but it wasn’t inside Rosa. It was inside those who loved her.”
This one resides in my Kindle, and I still haven't read it. It’s definitely on my list of books I need to finish. Though that list keeps increasing day by day. One day, fingers crossed, I’ll get to it.
It’s one of those books I could easily see holding my attention as I read its pages. I’m a chronic daydreamer, so sometimes I’m reading but not really reading, if you know what I mean. My mind often trails off into daydream land, and before I know it, I don’t even know what I read in the past 5 or 6 pages. But this one, I feel, would spill into my daydreams.
Parable of the Sower by Octavia E. Butler
”All that you touch You Change. All that you Change Changes you. “
This is another one that sits idly in my Kindle, which shields it from collecting dust, of course. But unfortunately, I haven’t managed to push past the 36% mark. And it’s not due to the book not being good; it’s great, actually. Life just pulled me in a different direction, I guess. I need to pull my direction back to this as soon as possible.
Buying books can easily become a quick dopamine hit. But unless we train ourselves to read what we buy, we’re just hooked on the high of purchasing books and not actually committing to them.
And it’s easy to confuse the joy of buying a book with actually reading it, and as you can see, I’m one of those people. Guilty as charged.
So what about you? What are some books you have collecting dust and haven't read?
Join the 15-Minute Push To Read Unplugged Goal
You don't need a bajillion unavailable hours to be a reader again. We all aren’t allotted that much free time in this stressful world. But all it takes is 15 minutes.
Here is my challenge for us tonight:
Pick a book, any book, preferably one that’s been collecting dust, unread or half-read.
Set a timer for 15 minutes.
Leave your phone in a different room.
Let’s reclaim and heal our focus together this way.
love this!! my biggest problem is that I am constantly receiving library holds and library books ofc have deadlines for when you have to read them, so the books I own get continuously disregarded - trying to figure out how to make space for it